Actions Speak Louder than Words - Let's ACT

Actions speak louder than words...

Words are very important because many times we speak of that which our heart is full, but that isn't the case all the time.  I can be told I'm loved a million times, but if I don't see the love, I won't believe it.

Over the last few years I have learned what living a "christian" life is all about.  It's not about what church you go to, how many years you've gone to church, how many bible verses you know, or how many hours per day you spend in "prayer".  Being a christian is being Christ-like.  I'll be the first to admit that I have spent some time bitter at the modern church for it's lack of love and compassion for our neighbors, but have come to realize that no fruit comes of such feelings.  I must ACT and do something to show Christs love and sacrifice. 

Recently, a horrible, sick, and disturbing tragedy happened to someone I know.  On top of the sadness I felt for this person, I also felt helpless.  I wish I could have done something...and I did.  I know it probably didn't take the pain away, but God knows my heart.  That very Sunday, the church I am attending started a series called "STOP".  This series is to bring awareness of the modern day slavery.  Yes, that's right.  Slavery...it still exists.  I couldn't stop thinking about the little girl I knew that had just lost her life, and although her tragedy was not related to slavery I vowed that I would start acting out against slavery and sex trafficking in honor of her.  Again, although that tragedy was not related to slavery in any way, I would do this in her honor and memory.  I wanted to save little helpless girls who could not fight for themselves.  It may be an indirect help, but it's what I'm going to do for that precious girl who is now with my Father.

Below is an excerpt form the book "The Slave Next Door" and I'm hoping that this story moves someone to also take action again kidnapping, human trafficking, sex trade, and all other forms of slavery. 

Meet Sandra Bearden.  Sandra was a twenty-seven-year-old home-maker in a comfortable suburb of Laredo, Texas - a neighborhood of solid brick homes and manicured lawn.  married, the mother of a four-year-old son, she lived a perfectly normal middle-class existence.  By all accounts, Sandra was a pleasant woman, the sort you'd chat with at the mall or supermarket...the sort who might live next door.  Yet she is currently serving a life sentence, convicted of multiple offenses, including human trafficking and slavery.
It started innocently enough.  At first, all Sandra wanted was a maid - someone to do the housework and help with her small son- but she didn't want to pay a lot.  So she drove across the border to a small, dirt-poor village near Vera Cruz, Mexico, where she was introduced to Maria and her parents.  Maria was only twelve when she met Sandra Bearden.  She had very little schooling and dreamed of getting an education- a dream that her parents encouraged by could do nothing to achieve.  Over coffee in their small kitchen, Bearden offered Maria a job, as well as the chance to attend school, learn English, and taste the rich life of "el Norte."The work, as Bearden described it, was much like what Maria was already doing at home, and, with the promise of education and opportunity, Sandra's offer made a very enticing package.  The fact that Sandra herself was Mexican born helped Maria's parents feel they could trust her, and they gave their permission.  Sandra smuggled Maria across border in their extensive car and drove her to her home in Laredo.
On arrival, maria was dragged into hell.  Sandra Bearden used violence and terror to squeeze work and obedience from the child.  From early morning till mid afternoon, Maria cooked, cleaned, scrubbed, and polished.  If Maria dozed off from exhaustion, or when Sandra decided she wasn't working fast enough, Sandra would blast pepper spray into Maria's eyes.  A broom was broken over the girl's back and a few days later, a bottle against her head.  At one point, Bearden tortured the twelve-year-old by jamming a garden tool up her vagina.  That was maria's workday; her "time off" was worse. 
When Maria wasn't working, Sandra would chain her to a pole in the backyard without food or water.  An eight-foot concrete fence kept her hidden from neighbors.  After chaining her, Sandra would sometimes force Maria to eat dog feces.  Then Maria would be left alone, her arms chained behind her with a padlock, her legs chained and locked together till the next morning, when the work and torture would begin again.  Through the long afternoon and night Maria would fade in and out of consciousness from dehydration, and in her hunger she would sometimes scoop dirt into her mouth.  Like most slaves in America, Maria was in shock, disoriented, isolated, and dependent.  To maintain control, Bearden kept Maria hungry and in pain.
About one-third of slaves freed in the United States each year come to liberty because of an average person sees something that he or she just can't ignore.  Luckily, one of the Beardens' neighbors had to do some work on his roof, and that probably saved Maria's life.  Looking down over the high concrete wall into the Breaden's backyard, the neighbor saw a small girl chained up and whimpering; he called 911.
The police found Maria chained hand and foot, covered in cuts and bruises, and suffering from dehydration and exposure.  She was too weak to walk and had to be carried to freedom on a stretcher.  Her skin was badly burned from days in the sun.  Photos taken at the time show one of her eyes bloodied and infected and thick welts and scars on her skin where the chains had cut into her.  She hadn't eaten in four days.  The district attorney said, "This is the worst case I've ever seen, worse than any murder.  It's tragic all the way around." Later, at Bearden's trial, the policeman who found maria wept.  "She was shaking and crying and had a scared look in her eyes.  She was in severe pain, " Officer Jay Reece testified.  he explained that he had tried to remove the chains from Maria's arms with bolt cutters but couldn't.  As he tried to move her arm to cut the chains, she twisted and whimpered because she was in so much pain.  "I've never seen anything like it before," Reese said, and sitting in the witness box, this policeman began to cry...
We all ask, "How could someone so abuse a child-to stake her in the sun, feed her excrement, beat her bloody...Surely, only a monster could do this." yet Sandra Bearden's treatment of Maria is not unusual.  How a seemingly normal person can descent into a spiral of violent control and abuse of another is one of the mysteries of slave holding..."
-"The Slave Next Door" by Kevin Bales and Ron Soodalter

This story is not a fictional story or one found in a move.  It's reality.  A factual horrid story that happened right here in our country.  Where so many live free, this girl, many other girls, boys, women, and men are held as slaved in so many different ways. It's a similar story to that of Jaycee Dougard...just a different type of slavery.  It happens all the time, but we just don't see it.  We don't know exactly how to identify it.  We pretend like it's not real.  But it is real...very real.  It's time we did something because the wise thing to do is to learn from other's mistakes.  I don't want to wait for this to happen to someone I know. 

I encourage everyone read this book.  This book is filled with factual events and statistics.  It makes recommendations on what we can do to help stop this horrid crime.  Prayer is great and effective in so many way, but it's time to ACT.  Jesus didn't just speak, HE acted.  It's time we started to do what we were called to do.  Save the lost and free the imprisoned...in more ways than one.

With lots of love,
Andi

Mini-me

The other day I saw a quote on Facebook that said "Your kids may not always do what you tell them to, but they will do what you do." - Anthony Fleming, Pastor at The Good Shepherd Church in Rutherford, NJ

That quote has been stuck in my head since I read it because it is so true.  Sometimes I look at my oldest daughter and the first thing that comes to mind is "mini-me"...she is literally a little me.  I know that there are things that will come naturally to her because she has my genes, but there are things she will be taught...whether I teach it to her intentionally or not.

I love to help people, motivate people, and inspire people.  I love seeing people grow and become better.  That is one of the reasons that I always try to post positive messages on social networking sites.  There are people who tend to be so negative and are always complaining.  There are times I read posts that are on the negative side and it can really be a downer.  I don't want people to feel that way when reading things I write.  I want people to be encouraged and have something to take away to help them grow...and at a minimum, I want them to feel happy when they read something I write.  If we were all to understand the impact that a simple post of facebook can make, we would all be a little wiser with what we post.  But, that's enough with my rant on that.

Back to my point.  Alisha, my youngest, always seems to turn things into competition; even when no one knows that there is a competition going on.  As we were leaving the house, walking down the steps, Alisha sits on the bottom step and starts crying.  I knew she didn't fall so I asked Ana to go and get Alisha.  Since Alisha wanted nothing to do with Ana, I went over and asked her why she was crying.  She answered "Ana beat me." I started laughing because we had no clue that a race was going on.  I proceeded to tell her that it's ok that Ana beat her.  She has to learn how to lose.  Some days we win and some days we lose.  Ana then looks at Alisha and says "yea, Alisha.  On the days you lose, you just pick yourself back up and try again.  Try and try again."

I was so excited with her response that I had her give me a high five and told her how right she was.  Ana needs to take her own advice sometimes, but don't we all.  What really impressed me is how she was trying to motivate Alisha to be better and to realize that just because you lost this time doesn't mean you'll lose the next time.  You just have to keep on trying.  I never trained Ana to think like that nor have I coached her on how to motivate people.  She just sees me to do it.  So, I end this blog entry with the same quote I started with because it really speaks for itself.

Kids won't always do what you tell them to, but they will do what you do.

With lots of love,
Andi

East Coast to West Coast

I am in the middle of a move associated with a Permanent Change of Station (PCS).  I have was born and raised in NJ, have been up and down the eastern coast, and been in NC for the last 6 months, but moving to Ft. Lewis, Washington is definitely a scary move for me.  Not only will I be farther away from all my family and friends, the weather there doesn't call for a lot of sunshine.  Anyone who knows me knows that I love heat, sunshine, and the beach.  I will have the beach there, but heat and sunshine will not be available as often as I would like.  The one good thing is that I won't have to deal with bitter cold weather like we go through in NJ.  I also can't forget that having great running conditions all year long is totally awesome and I can't wait for that.

 I wrote a blog called "Surviving as a Military Wife" where I essentially talked about how as a military wife you need to learn to accept and embrace change because if you don't, you really will never be happy.  You will always be stuck living in the past instead of enjoying the present.  When I write or speak of something, it's usually because it's something I struggled with and learned.  I may seem like a positive person and for the most part I am, but I do struggle and have internal battles.  I, like everyone else that needs to deal with change, also have my reservations, fears, and frustrations.  I just choose to not dwell on the negative.  Note, I said dwell.  I think of the negative, I may complain about the negative, but I don't dwell on it.  I quickly move on to thinking about the positive side of the situation and what I need to get me over the hurdle.

Going through such a long distance move with a full time job, 2 young children, and a husband that has a report date very soon is frustrating.  I won't lie about that.  I had my bad days filled with stress and internal frustration about the whole thing.  I even considered not moving until my husband is back from deployment.  But, I learned from an experienced Army wife that I will only be holding myself back.  I took a step back, thought about the whole situation, and made a decision...to let God's will be done. 

I am a control freak.  I don't deny it and don't even try to hide it.  I have a plan for everything.  It's in my nature.  I'm actually blessed enough to have a job where I get to plan and execute projects.  Totally suits me.  BUT, that trait can sometimes lead to disaster.  It's a trait God gave me and comes in use a lot, but at times I need to learn to reel myself in and let God do HIS thing. 

So...the question I always get is.  How are you doing?  How do you deal with that type of life?  I could never do it.  My answer is, under normal circumstances I could never do it.  I am a planner.  I think of everything and every possible option before making a decision.  Going through change isn't an issue with me.  I love change...I embrace it.  What bothers me is the not knowing all the details.  You have to wait, wait, wait.  But somehow, I have adapted and have learned.  In reality, there is one thing, and one thing alone that helps me deal with my personal frustrations, stresses, and fears - knowing that God is in control, that He is Soverign and knows what is best for me and my family.   It's that faith that gets me through.  I am blessed enough to truly believe it with my heart and not just say it with my mouth.

This morning in church, the pastor spoke about how we need to awaken to the reality that the presence of God is always with us.  Whether you realize it or not, whether you believe you deserve it or not, it doesn't change the fact that God is with us ALL the time.  The only thing that changes is whether you are aware of it.  As the pastor spoke about having passion for God, he took us to the book of Exodus where he used a story from the life of Moses to illustrate such passion for God's presence.  The Holy Spirit spoke to me through this passage and as I read it I would substitute Moses' name with mine.  I am including the whole passage below and hope that it speaks to someone's heart and much as it did mine.

Exodus 33:12-21

     Andrea

¹² Moses said to the LORD, “You have been telling me, ‘Lead these people,’ but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, ‘I know you by name and you have found favor with me.’ ¹³ If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people.”

 ¹⁴ The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

              Andrea

 ¹⁵ Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. ¹⁶ How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?”

                                          Andrea

 ¹⁷ And the LORD said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.”

               Andrea

 ¹⁸ Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.”

 

 ¹⁹ And the LORD said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. ²⁰ But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.”

 

 ²¹ Then the LORD said, “There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. ²² When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. ²³ Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen.”

In verse 14, God not only tells Moses that His presence will go with him, He also tells him that He will give him rest.  Leading all those people is not really a mission where you will be able to rest, but God isn't speaking of physical rest.  He's talking about a heart and soul at rest.  When you let God do His thing and you have faith and trust in Him, no matter how busy or chaotic things may be, your heart will always be at rest...in peace.

I thank God for using a preacher to speak to me, yet once again.  Not to tell me something new, but to confirm what was already in my heart and spirit.  I did recognize that this move was His will and I did and do feel peace, but through that passage he confirmed that I am on the right path.  Having a relationship with God is not hard...actually it's one of the easiest relationships you will ever have.  I'm not talking about religion, I'm talking about a relationship with God.  I'm not talking about a relationship filled with "don't do's", I'm talking about one where there is an abundance of love, respect, and freedom.  I am free to do whatever I want because God gave me that freedom, but I love Him so much I will always do my best not to hurt Him.

If you are in a situation where you are frustrated, confused, and stressed, take a step back and think about the whole picture.  God gave you the capacity to think through situations and make a decision on what's best for you.  Let God do His thing and I guarantee that you will get through anything...in rest.

I sure did write a lot, but if you read this far, I pray for you at this moment, because God knows who YOU are.  I pray that God grant you more wisdom and peace than He has given me these past couple of weeks.  I pray He may guide your steps and that you may be awakened to the fact that He is with you always, until the end of the age.  May every step you take prosper and may you always encourage others to faith in Jesus Christ, our Savior.  In the name of the Almighty and Sovereign, Jesus. Amen.

With lots of love,

Andi

Ranger Wife Creed

RANGER WIFE CREED:

Recognizing that I accept the life of a Ranger's Wife, fully knowing the hardships ahead of me, I will always strive to uphold the honor, the loyalty, and the trust of my husband, the Ranger!

Acknowledging that a Ranger Wife is a more elite wife who stands behind her Ranger, wherever he may be, I accept the fact that as a Ranger Wife, my husband expects me to encourage and stand behind him always!

Never shall I fail my Ranger. I will always keep myself strong, brave, and faithful. I will shoulder more than my share of the responsibility, whatever it may be, one hundred percent and then some!

Gallantly will I show the world that I am a specially selected woman. My courtesy to my husband, neatness of appearance, and care of our family shall set the example for future wives to follow!

Energetically will I meet the demands of my Ranger. I shall stand by my man in peacetime and in war, knowing HE IS THE SUPERIOR SOLDIER. Never will I leave my Ranger for another, and under NO circumstances will I embarrass him!

Readily will I display the intestinal fortitude required to let my Ranger go, knowing he may never return to me– his Ranger Wife!!

Willingly will I let him go, not knowing where or for how long he will be gone, always hoping, praying and believing for his safe return and the safe return of his comrades!

Intensely will I wait for his return, anticipating the gallantry and honor– my Ranger, a hero, standing beside with pride and passion!

Forgoing all others needs except for those of my Ranger, knowing one day he will forgo all others for me– his Wife!

Enthusiastically will I carry on my daily routine, even when he's away, never forgetting he left behind his strength, his honor, his heart, his Ranger Wife!

 

Signed:

Andrea Dornelas, Ranger Wife

 

PS.  Trying my best to live by the creed.  Not easy, but possible.